Sea Turtles, Mate: Majora's Mask part 15

   Playing the song for Lulu makes her sing it for an island.  The island turns into a turtle with palm trees on its back and takes Link to the Great Bay Temple.  The temple is surrounded by what looks like a hurricane (in all its N64 glory).  The pirates also try to sail a boat to the temple, but the winds lift their boat and throw them into the sea.  Turtles that perform island identity theft are far more structurally sound means of transportation beyond pirate ships.  The turtle goes to the temple and Link hops off and enters to find turbines and pipes and stuff.  Turns out temples are the perfect places for large industrial centers of indoor plumbing and waste treatment.

  I often have found this to be a matter worth discussing.  What is the purpose of a temple?  I would assume it would be to worship something.  However, in so many of the Legend of Zelda games, these temples are full of puzzles and monsters.  That would be like going to church, and in order to get the church bulletin, you would have to slide boxes around over certain pressure plates to make the treasure chest holding the church bulletins appear.  Next, in order to get the communion crackers and wine, you would have to go down into the boiler room and measure water pressure and divert flow while being timed for the box to open up with the Eucharist in it.  Then, in order to put money in the offering plate, you would have to beat large stone-spitting squids to death with your church bulletin.  Finally, to hear the sermon, a giant fish comes out of nowhere and tries to eat you while being nearly impossible to hit in the murky water.  If that's how people worship in the Legend of Zelda, no wonder these temples are virtually empty.  Link must be a saint for enduring all of this.  I know a church and a temple aren't exactly the same thing, but I feel like the illustration makes the point.  I feel like I might be missing something about the nature of these temples, but if Nintendo ever thinks to write a second edition of Hyrule Historia, I'll let them discuss that to greater length.

So much hate.

  So giant fish, am I right?  His name is Gyorg, and he is wearing a mask like Goht and Odolwa were.  You ever see the movie Jaws?  Well, one fellow wearing green falls into the water, zero fellows wearing green come out.  The fish just throws itself against the platform and vomits piranhas.  He is also very hard to hit.  He is really hard to hit.  I don't know how else to put this.  Just try throwing a feather at a chandelier and then divide that by two, it's unpleasant and tedious.


   Link kills the fish, frees the third giant, and restores peace to the ocean.  The band of Zoras, the Indigo-gos, gets together (except the dead guy, because, you know) and performs the song the little Zora children wrote.  Lulu reveals the song they wrote was actually a song her mother used to sing...


ummm...


Those little fish children are still better at music than Mozart.  Song of Time right outta there.  Next time we will be looking at more symbols and themes and then we will be diving right into the canyon from hell.  This is gonna be good.